Posted by: Moon | November 15, 2011

Diminishing Friendships

Friendships ..

Mine seem to be going only one way …

Maybe I am just in a down mood, but I feel that my friendships always come from me. I am a person that likes to be in touch, like to keep the friends he has, and values them very highly. Apart from maybe a couple of you, and I think you know who you are, my friends communications only ever comes when I email someone.

I don’t think I am being negative, but just an honest thought.

I have twitter friends that only react when I send mails, I have email friends who only ever react when I email first, the same can be said of texting as well. Living remotely from all of my close friends, electronic communication and social networking site is how I continue to maintain my friendship links, but surely this should go both ways ?

Maybe I should just stop, see what happens ? Maybe my friends have got used to the fact I will always start an exchange in emails or msgs ? But, somehow I doubt that. I think, if I stopped contacting people first, my communications with people would just end, and that I find sad and strange. It makes me sad that people do not value the friendship as highly as I do. I place my friends at a very high level, but maybe I am kidding myself. Maybe I am not high on their list, and they have 50 other people they do have regular contact with, and it happens I am too low on that list for them to initiate the first contact. Happy to be friendly and to respond, but never to think .. “Hmmm, wonder how Moon is getting on?”

Now, there are some exceptions, but in general, this is how I am feeling. If I didn’t bother to make the contact, see how things are in other people’s world, I am guessing they probably wouldn’t even notice…..

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Responses

  1. I have very few friends. And with that most of them are very remote from me, so as a result I used social media to keep in touch in the main. This is what I find FB really useful for. I can keep an eye on what my friends are doing and occasionally dip in with comments on their statuses. Then it doesn’t matter about anyone doing anything specific to keep in touch. I go in waves of no contact through to massive amounts.

    Hang in there.

  2. I can count my true friends on one hand – if I use my thumb. Any more than that and I would begin to forget names, what with advancing age and the fact that pints of beer definitely deplete brain cells. I am perfectly happy with just a few close friends, the ones I can count on, and I simply relegate the balance to the “acquaintance” category. I find a very firm line should be drawn between the two, thereby eliminating disappointments.

    If you have four or five really close friends, ones you can share secrets with, and know that they shall remain secrets; and ones you can count on when you really need them; then they are worth more than all the acquaintances in the world.

    I suspect you have at least that many close friends, so count yourself lucky. Oh, and don’t forget, you can always count on me to help with your golf swing; how to pick winning football teams; and how to drink beer with both hands.

    Now, if only I could remember who you are…………….

  3. Could it be that they know you are super busy settling into the new house and are waiting until you get a moment? My life is pretty boring but I know my friends are busy and that they will email when they get a chance; however if it’s been too long not hearing from them I’ll drop them a note

  4. Hey, you know you’ve got a friend (at least one 🙂 ) in Florida! Yep – been in your shoes – way of thinking – life eventually straightens out. Just enjoy your home and family, it’s the very best it gets in life. Family is important, from the dogs to the baby, to your beautiful wife and then too, you have a job. I’d say – you’ve got so much. Enjoy it. And – if you think of it – have a Guiness (that always makes me happy!!)
    Karen

  5. I have felt like this many times, friendships have to be worked on far more than we expect. At least you can say that you put in the effort. I guess its hard living far away from them, when youre no longer in their daily lives. I wouldnt say that they dont think about you though. I would agree with Cortes, and that firm line between friend and acquaintance.

  6. I’m afraid I’m very much the person who always answers, never initiates. I usually tell people I’m lazy/a hermit/a recluse, all of which are true to some extent. Perhaps another part of it is that I had a mother who was THE person who ‘kept the family together’ as she put it. She wanted to pass the torch to me, but I dropped it. 😦 I am just hopeless at remembering things and getting on and sending that card or letter.

    I can tell you that for me, it’s true to say that if the ‘other person’ stops communicating we tend to lose touch. I think no less fondly of people, I just seem to be horribly bad at writing and calling.

    However, with my mother’s shade hanging over me this year I did take the time to ring round the family on Christmas morning to say Merry Christmas and see how everyone was doing, and it was a lot of fun. Maybe there’s hope for me yet!


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