Posted by: Moon | March 16, 2011

Paging Dr House

So, what’s wrong with me… my health is causing a few concerns, although in reality, it can probably all be explained away. I tend to do this with a shrug of the shoulders but Mrs M is decided that perhaps that isn’t quite ‘Dr House’ enough, so I have been giving various Dr’s samples of various things you don’t want to know about !

It all came about as Matej needed some blood work done, and they also tested Mrs M and Myself. I said at the time that my health was ok, but, I did feel very tired. Either I am a lazy fucker, or Matej has exhausted me, or…. There is something underlying my tiredness. After lots of tests, I passed my HIV (no, I can’t drive a truck!), but the concern came when I had a very high Sedimentation Test results …. A what now ???.. Well, apparently, this test for heavy red blood cells, and my number was crazy high and this means that my body is fighting some illness. No idea what illness, but something. So my piss, poo and blood underwent more tests, and the small blips I had from these tests have directed the Dr’s towards two areas. The first, and always the scariest when mentioned is Cancer. The second and far more logical is Rheumatism.

My first tests have also come back negative for Cancer, but I still have to have a camera team shoved up my chocolate starfish, which I have to say does not appeal, and that particular part of my body is designed for one way traffic if you know what I mean ! But, as I am in my late 30’s, it’s something all men should be checked no matter what the embarrassment or slight, hidden pleasure they might deniably gain from it. I just don’t need David Attenborough there pls ! The reason I am saying that Rheumatism is more lightly is because of my health history with bad joints, back and broken bones history….. Maybe not directly linked, but I feel it’s more likely. Either way, I am glad we are looking into it, and I have a reason to feel so tired so much, am I scared by the diagnosis..?? to be honest, yes, a little.

The other health issue I have is with my eyes. I have realised that I need to go back to wearing glasses, one quick stop to get a prescription, and off to Slovak ‘specsavers’ .. But … always a bloody ‘but’ isn’t there … 12 years ago, I had micro surgery to correct my eyesight, this has left me with 8 neat scars in each eye… and that is effecting them giving me the correct prescription, so now I need to go to a specialist in Bratislava to see if this can be corrected. Not a real issue I guess, however, a final issue that does concern me is the fact I have been losing my peripheral vision in either eye. That’s the best way to describe what is happening. For about 40mins, my eye loses it’s clear vision, fizzing, snake like interference and a strange feeling of not quite being all there, surreal. I had a history of migraines when I was a boy, so that could be part of it. The optometrist has conformed my vision is fine, my retina is fine, and my optic nerve is also fine, which is good news, but of course diverts the issue to Neurology, which is always scary. I have got some scans to attend next week.

So, all of those things can be a little scary, but also, they will probably be explained away, and nothing will come of this, and my dear readers, you will all sigh, raise an eyebrow and tell me to stop fussing, which I agree with….. However, if anyone does have Hugh Laurie’s number, text me it pls.


  1. Blimey, never rains but it pours, eh? Hope things improve soon.

    • Really don’t think it’s anything serious, but maybe everyone thinks that before it does get serious? at least we are investigating it now !

  2. Gosh, Moon, I feel your anxiety, but I have to tell you that I’ve had the fizzing, light flashing, wiggly-on-the-periphery, visual problems for years. Sometimes when I go to bed and close my eyes it’s like a firework display.

    Like you, my retinas, general eye health etc checks out fine (and I had head CTs and MRIs after my memory loss thing), and like you I tend towards migraine. Consensus here is that that is what it is. My own personal opinion is that it’s a lot to do with prescription meds’ side effects, too.

    My mother has a ‘crazy high’ ESR from time to time too. She has a form of inflammatory arthritis brought on my the flu jab she had a number of years ago. Her consultant’s father has the same thing from the same cause. Possibly we’re all suffering from a form (from mild to severe) of over-vaccination which is affecting our immune systems. I seem to remember that you had to have a series of rabies shots last year too, which is reckoned to be a nasty thing for your body to have to go through.

    So, could very well be a whole lot of nothing, but you are very wise to get thoroughly checked out. OH had prostate cancer btw, and his cousin had bowel cancer, and both had treatment and are discharged and cancer-free after many years, so even if it should turn out to be the ‘big C’, don’t despair. Treatments these days can often turn it into ‘just another thing to get through’. 😉

    Best of luck with your tests!

    ‘Chocolate starfish’! ROFL!!

  3. I get visual migraines, which are very much as you discribe. I hope they get to the bottom (oh sorry for the pun) of things and I have had a camer popped where the sun dont shine, just make sure you get the sedation!

  4. It really is horrible when you are worrying about your health, least you are getting it all checked out now.. hope you get answers soon x

  5. Whoa sounds like a plethora of problems. Hope they sort it out for you. Eyes? Just old age I think. I’m half blind these days thanks to an astigmatism that can’t be cured with laser. Good luck with the poo probe. You’re right tho, men need to have it done regularly.

  6. Just read your blog, and thought I should comment privately, as some might misinterpret what I say. Political correctness has never been my forte. Perhaps I shall comment in point form?

    1. Glad to hear you passed your HIV, but who did you pass it too? And have you told him?

    2. Cancer, not good, and hopefully this will not continue to be a consideration. Two negative tests is really good news here!

    3. Rhuematism, not good, plays havoc with the golf game (I respectfully refer you to my 5-iron difficulties).

    4. Chocolate Starfish – now that did make me laugh. If they do this, have them make a video, maybe you could do some type of film akin to the “Motorcycle Diaries”, call it the “Chocolate HIghway”.

    5. As far as your eyes are concerned, if all the parts are ok, it is likely a symptom of something else. This may take some time to resolve, speaking from experience, but hopefully is not serious. So, once the cancer thing is ruled out, everything else is a minor thing. They will figure it out and get you back on your feet.

    I wish you the best!

  7. Oh Moon – Hope you all your health issues are minor and can be sorted!

    I had to chuckle at your chocolate starfish comment. When I took Taffy (RIP) to the greyhound specialist last week as he has been really poorly, he did a test and described the reaction to a pinch as it should be ‘winking at him’

    I now have visions of a winking chocolate starfish in my head -not good 😆

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