Posted by: Moon | October 20, 2010

It’s not always Sunshine and Lollipops

I try not to be negative…. on my Blog I try to be  positive blogger, no-one wants to read all about one’s woes.. after all, we all have woes right ? My Twitter is normally inane bollocks and funny (yes, I think I am funny).

I adore my life here, I love the fact we have chosen something different. We are unique and I am thankful for all of that ..

but (yes, we all knew there was a ‘but’ coming) …. sometime life isn’t always like that is it….

I am feeling a little low right now, it has hit me pretty hard over the last few days that I am unemployed. I have no real prospect of work. We kinda knew this when we came here, and by learning the language I would be able to find work….. well, the language is far harder than I imagined, and it has taken me far longer that I thought. So, what do I do ??.. Well, my experience is as a City Insurance underwriter. I used to love my job, really loved it. I was well paid, lot of respect, and if I say so myself, I was bloody good. I was traveling the country, insuring multi million $ companies, suit wearing, mobile using professional. Had a nice flat, nice BMW, at 37 I was well set for a really good career. It has hit me that I gave it all up.

Do I regret that… no, I really don’t. I have what I want here, I chose the option to go experience living in the USA, that’s priceless… I chose to come to Slovakia, buy an old cottage and have the chance to build a large country home….. again priceless… and I regret nothing.

Sometimes though you feel useless. Mrs M will go to work in Feb and I will finish the house and look after Matej. I am happy with that, and it’s what is best for the family, but at times I would love to be back working those early mornings in The City, seeing new people everyday, new industries, new challenges and drinking some beers with my great friends in The White Horse. Not only do I miss my job, but I miss the social intercourse my work gave me. I am a very good conversationalist, I am excellent at building relationships … I have none of that here. Mrs M asked me why I spend so much time on Twitter ?.. I replied .. that’s the only conversation I get. Sad you might think, and you may well be right, but I can’t even go to the local shop and talk about the football…. The only conversation I get from away from my wife is Twitter. Not saying I want to get away from my wife, of course not, we are wonderful together, but no-one can just talk to the same person all day, every day can they …..

I keep in touch with all my friends from home, but typing out a long email and waiting for a reply is not the same as instant banter, daft comments, quick-witted laughs and conversations…Thats why I use Twitter so much, to keep me in touch with every day daft conversation. My Twitter friends know who they are, I have maybe 15 people who I ‘chat’ regularly to, from 4am in the morning to my ‘late’ nights at 10pm. Sad… yeah maybe, but what alternatives do I have ??… none….

I need to find some work from home, something I can do, using my communication skills, my sales skills, my professional skills …. my obsession for the internet and computers (use of I might add, not IT work)… Yes, we need the money, but I need the interaction of other people. I need the banter, someone else’s views, jokes and laughs ..I need some help, some ideas of what I can do from home for work, to give me back my drive and ambition, all help required pls. Does anyone out there have any ideas, or indeed work from home themselves … ? i need some inspiration !

So, I won’t go on about it, but the Sunshine and Lollipops aren’t here today …..

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Responses

  1. Oh man up, you big girl.

    Seriously, you’re in a new country, surrounded by people who don’t speak your language, with a daunting house renovation ahead and a brand new baby.

    Why would you be stressed? *cough*

    • Iknow, and I chose and want that excitement ahead, but I do wonder what would have been if I hadn’t thrown away that career, and then I think of an amazing adventure in the US that many people dream of, and then of course our new house … but …

  2. I know exactly how you feel, especially after our small chat on twitter earlier today. Living away from everything you’ve known can be frustrating at times and the complete change of lifestyle takes some getting used to but we’re following our dreams and trying to make a better future for our children.

    Yes we miss the general banter and chats with friends and family, it’s not easy learning a new language and I doubt very much I’ll ever be truly fluent in Bulgarian but I try.

    Sometimes it can seem like you’re stuck in a time warp and things aren’t moving at all but every day we get a step closer to the life we’d like to live. In years to come we’ll look back and not realise how tough it was at times but how good the whole journey has been.

    Chin up and expect the unexpected 🙂

    Suzy

    • I guess thats why we have both made similar moves, trying to find our dream, and doing what we feel is best for our families.

      It’s tough, but you are right, everyday it comes a step closer, and I guess the previous life looks roses in hindsight, not in reality..

      I think we are both doing similar things x

  3. Sorry, rushed comment secretly typing at work, on phone. Just wanted to say must be a huge shock to the system – hang in there, am sure a man of your talents will work something out.
    x

    • It is a shock, and harder than we thought ….. and we will get there….. xxxx

  4. I’m so glad you and Suzy got in touch! Thought you’d have a lot in common x

    • I think she loves me …

  5. There are turning points in each of our lives, my friend. That moment in time, which usually goes unnoticed, when we make a choice, and our carefully laid out plans take an abrupt turn. The new path we choose is rarely as well planned out as the original, but that doesn’t mean it is any less desirable, or less satisfying, or less exciting.

    We knew the twists and turns and bumps to be expected on the old road, and we were programed to deal with them. The new path is different, it is sometimes like traveling through a tunnel, the twists and turns come up quickly, and unexpectedly, new and unknown, and they do sometimes throw us for a loop. It’s a bit like wearing blinkers. We are so focused on the new objective that we often push everything else from our mind. Then we wake up and suddenly everything has changed!

    But change is not necessarily bad. It is an adventure, it brings with it new experiences, new goals, new twists and turns and bumps. I think you may have hit a little bump?

    But, although you may have traded in the three piece suit for more casual attire, and the BMW for a less impressive vehicle (I really don’t know what to call a horse and buggy!), you have so much more. A new home with huge potential; a new family and new vision of what your future can be. Just need to take the blinkers off, have a pint, and look around. Then have a second pint.

    I can’t say that I know you as well as most of your friends, having spent most of our time on the golf course (and you are not your best on the links, as you know), but I do know that you have a strength of character and depth of love for family that will bring you through all these twists and turns. You will be fine! Better than fine.

    • excellent and wise words .. apart from the golf reference …. thanks my friend, you know me better than you think

  6. Forgot to mention that I will be watching Spurs today and will be in touch. May need to find a new team to support now that United are imploding. Ha! This is one of my little ‘bumps’!

  7. I know exactly how you feel. My brother was unempoyed for 9 months. Speakind slovak, english and a bit german, very smart guy… and even so it was so difficult to find a job!
    In our lives is family the most important thing, but when there are problems with job, after a while we start to feel “unbalanced” and every -even small discomfort we feel as a big iniquity.
    I wish you and Mrs M courage and lot of inner strength. You will definitelly manage it together!
    I wish I could help you. Anytime feel free to ask me. And there is still offer of free skype slovak conversation lessons 😉

  8. Sounds like a perfectly natural place to be in to me. The initial adrenaline rush of Matej’s arrival is wearing off, this is life now with all of its challenges and pitfalls and excitement. It’s good to talk about the down side as well, you’ll find lots of people who feel the same – and most of them won’t be making their way through all the challenges you are. I work from home and it’s very tough at times. I feel like I’m going through a big transition myself – all of my children finally at school fulltime and suddenly I feel in limbo, not really sure where to turn next. I can’t offer you any advice, but can offer you inane chat and laughs… will that do? Px

  9. I can only echo what others have said. I’m not surprised you feel like this plus, don’t forget, you’ve just had a visit from your family. Is it possible that their departure is making you feel this more acutely? Like Paula said as well, the initial high of Matej’s birth is wearing off, it’s common for parents to feel low at this time anyway.

    You have had and will have so many transitions, you seem very strong and I know that you’ll pass out the other side of this x

  10. I lost my business a year ago and what hit me most was losing so many people around me (you really discover who your friends are in that situation!) – it felt like I’d had a relationship break up with 10’s of people all at once. With a 9 month old in tow, I had to consider working from home as my main option. It’s been lonely. I can’t BEGIN to imagine how it feels to be facing all this in another part of the world, not knowing the language either!

    Twitter has done me the enormous favour of providing a ‘water cooler’ place to go and I totally empathise with the fact that it’s helped you too.

    I write copy for marketing collateral mainly – but am also ghost writing, blogging and tweeting on behalf of clients. Have you already thought about this? There are so many businesses who want to (and should) get into social media but don’t have the time or inclination. And it means you’d be tweeting every day for money! x

  11. Hey Moon! I hate this whole time difference thing – whenever I think about skyping you it is the wrong time over there! Perhaps I should just stay up a bit later, since I know how early you get up, and skype you in my evening instead of morning? Anyhoo, I will try and call soon……..
    PS Love you!

  12. I was going to suggest something similar to Lizzy actually. Was tweeting and emailing with one of my followers the other day who is looking to set up a service and has some new clients on board already.

    I might find out more for you if I find out more – and check that they are happy to have non-UK residents working on it.

    Apart from that, you are undergoing huge changes in your life. The biggest of all is becoming a parent – it’s a huge life adjustment and more so the first time around, even if things are going well. You are allowed to have bad days – none of us can be unfailingly positive all of the time.

    Go easy on yourself, fella. x

  13. Hi Moon and lovely to meet you through Twitter, with Paul’s introduction. Having read through this post, your concerns are completely understandable. You are in the right place to build an awesome career for yourself, using the Internet. Think of your experience as am underwriter (almost wrote undertaker – lol) You write well (in English, at least). You understand business risk. Write the absolutely BEST book on business insurance that has ever been written. Segment it for small, medium and large
    businesses. Make a list of every topic that needs to be covered. Then sell them (I can see at least four books here) on the Internet. Give the first one away to build your mailing list. Register YOUR name as a domain name today (if it is not already taken). Build your web profile. Your experience is priceless. You are sitting with a goldmine between your ears. Go to work! You have a career in writing and helping in risk management. If you want it, that is.
    Think of yourself as an entrepeneur with hundreds of contacts – which undoubtedly you have. Use your network to sell your books, by showing them how your understanding of risk management can pre-sell them. Get a copy of my book http://networkingtoaplan.com Have fun. Love life. Enjoy the choices you have made. Fix the roof before it snows. Be a friend. Cheers Lesley

  14. Hi Moon, I love your blogs and agree with Lesley you have so much to offer – go for it and write a book! It is only natural to feel down after the birth of your first child and a family visit now it feels like all the highs are over and you are left with nothing. Really hard to give up one life to replace it with another and nothing you really want is ever easy so life is not a bed of roses, sometimes you have to trample across a few thorns to get to the sweetest patch 🙂 Mx

  15. And when you’ve achieved Lesley Dewar’s suggestion, celebrate by holding a congress of all who’ve helped you: gather your heroes, you greatest supporters.
    Without knowing you better I couldn’t offer better advice. You have the biography, the golf bag of clubs with which you’ve made (hopefully) sufficient mistakes. You have the insight you need to dig deep.
    In case you don’t know it, absorb “Crush It” by Gary Vaynerchuk – at least
    Many of your other readers have already had thoughts about what you could do to design a job for yourself – I bet.

    One warning – I offer – whatever you do – love it – no half-measures


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