Posted by: Moon | June 30, 2009

California …. in the summer sun …

I think I am a lucky man sometimes, I mean, I have a job, reasonable health and a wonderful, beautiful wife …….


As a ‘lucky’ man.. I know that living in  Newport Beach, California is a wonderful piece of luck… we are a 15 min bike ride from the beach … so, this Sunday, we took the bikes down to the beach to enjoy the wonderful ocean. Last week we tried to do the same, because Mrs M’s bike was falling apart, we took the Jeep, and I spent 1 hr steadily losing my temper, teaching Mrs M some wonderful new expressions that even Maxi might not use… and came home …. I seriously inherited my Father’s anger and loathing of trying to park …. 

So, we rode down today, logically, it’s all downhill to the Beach, and we cruised down, and then cycled down the paths to Balboa island, one of my favourite spots in Newport Beach. I am a serious people watcher, and I marvel at a few things…

Thinking : “are they real ?”, ……. “why would you wear that ?”,……. “do you have a mirror ?”, ……….”you should wear a bra fella? ‘ … etc …. but California is full of the beautiful people right ….. 

So, after a lovely ride, about 15 miles or so, we returned to the beach front, and spread out towels and rested. I am reading a wonderful book I can’t put down, and Mrs M is working on her tan. As I settled, my eyes wandered over the beach, I saw some interesting things….

1 – I must have counted 7-8 girls that were pretty gorgeous.. I even mentioned to Mrs M that one lass have wonderful lady lumps.

2 – 3 guys throwing a football (I know, that doesn’t make sense, but they are American ..).. fit, very healthy, and ripped ….

3 – One group of people had a cat with them on the beach … go figure ….

4 – One of the ‘cat’ group has the fattest arse exposed to the world, I could have keep a mars bar there…. get a bigger costume love, I believe a marquee might suffice

5 – The water is fucking cold

6 – Mrs M gets bored quickly

7 – The sand is very hot

8 – Some people are weird, they go all that way to the beach, and they want to sit within 5 yards of fat people …. walk 50 yrds and get some space

9 – I don’t like people

10 – my wife looks wonderful coming out of a cold sea in a bikini.

11 – Some Californians are stunningly good looking

12 – Some Californians are so fat they have their own Moon

13 – The sun burns

14 – The wind always blows into your face no matter what way your are cycling.

15 – My wife’s ‘lady lumps’ are far nicer than the girl in point 1

16 – Lots of people smoke ‘happy’ stuff at the beach

17 – Americans are very loud and liked to whoop a lot ..

18 – It’s always up hill on the ride home

19 – I burn

20 – Beer is nice cold after a day in the sun



  1. Haha . . I’d hate the hot and salty ride uphill home with sand in my crack!

  2. Well said, and made me laugh! I agree about not liking people, in general, and even less when they are in bunches, though most of them are just fine if you get to meet them. Traffic at the beach must be a nightmare down there – would drive me crazy too.

    Sounds like you had a blast, and to finish it off with a cold beer provides a perfect conclusion to a day at the beach.

  3. I definitely don’t like “people” in general, as a whole. although there are some individually that I am quite partial too.
    I now have a picture of you, Moon, orbiting someone’s giant arse. How lovely for you.

  4. Baino : It’s only a gentle uphill to be fair, and I was sand free !

    Cortes : I thought that was the law after a hot day ?, yes, i find that too, individuals are quite nice… in groups… man, they piss me off

    DBM : Her crack was gross … I know I am no adonis, but at least I cover up my fat bits … is nothing sacred…. even on the beach… I mean GreenPearce were around and some Japanese Whale ships …..

  5. You have just made my back garden in good old middle England look really attractive!!

    Its very hot here today and I am looking forward to chilling out in our jacuzzi later surrounded by fairylights and flowers AND no people!!!

  6. Hahaha! I think you and I are fairly similar, except I don’t tend to stare at the ‘lady lumps’ – and what an inelegant expression that is, by the way! LOL!

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