Posted by: Moon | April 26, 2009

Our 1st Visit ……

Well, I have been pretty quiet on the Jeff issue, and I have deliberately chosen not to blog about it, for a few reasons, one of them being that I found myself dwelling too much on the sadness of it all, and it was really getting to me. So, I tried to be more positive about other things, and tried to leave those thoughts private with myself and Mrs M.

However, Jeff decided that even though in Protective Custody, meaning he does not spend any time in the general population of the jail, he felt in danger when he was waiting for visitors, and after, before they took back to his cell. This has changed now, and I guess he feels a little more secure, and confident in his new environment. So, we put our own feelings to one side, and decided that if Jeff wanted visitors, we would go. Being honest, and I think I can with you mt bloggers, I didn’t want to go. Last time we saw Jeff it was an incredible emotional thing, and I am an emotional person, and tears were shed, and a feeling of helplessness etc…. However, we made the choice that it is not our feelings that count here, it is for our friend, and I think he needs visitors to keep his spirits up, and it can only help him keep in touch with a normal life. Visiting hours for the Protective Custody prisoners is at 8am only, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Only 2 people allowed at any one time. I was nervous of going, and not really knowing what to expect. Well, it was far simpler than I imagined, and the prison staff were helpful, polite and directed with empathy to where we needed to go.

I am sure you have seen on the TV the glass booths, with only glass view of your friend, and a telephone to talk to each other, well, thats exactly how it is. Not very personal, but what can you do?  So, we passed security, and were called into the room and Jeff came to talk to us. I honestly thought I would be in some tears, but I made myself not to go down that road, how in the world would it help Jeff to see us upset, that could only damage the hard work he has put in himself to be positive. It was remarkable easy to be up beat, I didn’t even think of the emotion, it was just good to be able to talk with him.

 

We didn’t discuss the case, we just talked about life, the beach, the boat and our lives. We did talk about a few things in prison life, and we were happily surprised how well he seems to be coping, and how he is very reflective of life. There was no denial, no ‘it’s not fair’ talk, just the ways in which he can cope, and the ideas he has for his time inside. Re-education, courses to prepare for his release, and looking into the future. He has his down times, but his free spirit is alive and kicking. We are thankful for that. We left the jail after our 30 mins feeling positive about our visit, and promising that we well 100% be going again as often as we can. He looks well, his has his smile, and he is passing his time safely. Reading the classics, looking at his faith, and looking at himself very closely. So, I believe he is being positive in a tough situation, that is the character that is Jeff.

As far as the trial goes, and news going forward, we still do not too much. Reports are being written, Jeff has changed his attourney, and we will wait to see how all this pans out. But, for today, we are happy to have seen our friend, to have been able to talk, find out  what he wants us to do, and how we can help him. A letter, a visit, some books, and our support are the important things to our friend.

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Responses

  1. I think you made the right decision to go my friend, for many different reasons. I am glad it worked out, for all of you.

    Really pleased that you have established a level approach to the whole situation.

    Extremely surprised that you passed the cavity search!

    I trust everyone feels better?

  2. Cortes ” Well my friend, what can you do.. it is what it is…..
    Interesting, I found out today, that there is a ‘black box’ on the Ferrari, so who knows what that will tell us. But for us, for Penny, and for Jeff, we have to be positive, and it was good to see him, and to be ‘normal’ for at least 30mins…. and I am sure that will be gold for him right now

  3. Moon – I think you might be surprised to find out just how many of the newer cars have simplified black boxes. Hopefully the information will help Jeff’s case.

    At any rate, the support of friends and family is crucial in situations like this, and you have definitely shown your true colors. I hope it all works out.

  4. Well done Moon, I know it was going to be hard for you and I’m sure he appreciated seeing you both. Must be a relief to see friendly faces when you’re feeling so isolated. You’re a good friend! And as we said the other day, it’s surprising sometimes which corners friendship and support come from and which ‘friends’ in fact show their not so pleasant true colours. We may not have met but I’m proud to call you friend.

  5. Thanks Baino, it’s surprises you who comes through for you when you need them, and the few who don’t…… and friends come from all sorts of places, and sometimes a few electronic words are far better than any meaningless ones ..

  6. That was brave and loyal of you, Moon, and I’m really pleased that it went so well and you feel able to go and visit your friend again in the future. Glad to hear he’s adjusted well, too.


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