It’s a dark and wet day here in Plave Vozokany, Miska is having a sleep in, and rather to go and wake her, I am trying to find things to do. A few months ago, I would have been sitting out in the back yard, reading a book, or most likely watching the football from back home, swearing loudly as Spurs let yet another goal in… how times have changed, and I don’t think it could have been more radical in the changes. It has not just been moving back to England, but to move to Slovakia… and then, to be living in a small village in Slovakia. Of course there are things I miss from Newport Beach … this being one of them …

And it is great that I do miss such things as the 2 years in the USA have been so important for me and Miska, and we both have such mixed feelings of leaving it all behind. We miss so much of the place and the few friends we became close to. We miss our friend Jeff, and we are sad that as his trial approaches we cannot be there to support him. We write on a weekly basis, and keep in touch with his wonderful sister. We know what is going on, but that is nothing compared to actually seeing him and talking with him, so that makes us very sad.

We obviously miss the weather, and the wonderful geographical wonders California and the surrounds have to offer. We were very sad to have not seen Yosemite, but that will always be there for our return. I personally am very sad not to have put a ‘finish’ to our adventure. To leave in the circumstances that I did, not to say a final ‘goodbye’ to certain things and people… ah well, that can’t be helped. One final thing that I miss is the relationship I developed with my sister DBM. Sounds weird doesn’t it, however, to finally be on the same time zone as her, to be able to pick up the phone her whenever I wanted, and to be able to see her 3 times a year was great. We finally shared the same feelings about home, and living so far from home….. Now, we have to ‘book’ a time when we will both be about for skype.

I am sure you all heard the news today about the Major who gunned down 13 serving soldiers (I won’t go into all of that) but, it did remind me as to one of the reasons I am pleased I do not live there anymore. Again, this does go on in other countries, Dunblane, and Port Arthur and others… however, it does seem to happen in the USA on a yearly basis… that has to tell you something about the gun culture of the USA.

So, that brings me back to Plave Vozokany…. We walked around the village two night ago. It is not a pretty village like those in England, but I feel it does have a certain charm to it. In the surrounding fields, everyday we see some beautiful birds of prey (watch this space because we are going out with our cameras very soon), The old houses, the wonderful smell of the open fires coming from each house as you pass, and a feeling that gun crime and drugs would never come into these homes. I am not naive, I know Slovakia has it’s problems, drugs, gangs etc… but I am 100% convinced, it’s a million miles from LA, California and the USA.

On our walk, we called into see Granny. in her old, scruffy, but always warm kitchen. She was sat there, wearing her shawl, old apron with two other ladies from the village. They were sat with piles of Walnuts (all fresh from the garden) shelling them. Cracking the shells away, and talking at 1 million miles an hour. I sat there, not understanding a word, but I can guarantee they were talking about Coronation Street, or the girl down the road who has started seeing so and so from another village, or the very strange English Guy who was sitting and looking into space as they discuss the world economy … I’ll never know… but what I do know is this, California is a million miles from here, and I am pleased about that. I wanted a new experience.. and here I am…

It looks as if the rain will stay for the whole week-end, I will be able to watch my football, talk to my sister and then get to grips with Past and Present Tense … and that is not ****ing easy I can tell you..

Laters ….

After being treated to some of the best cooking ever with Anka supplying meals left right and center, I thought I should at least cook the one meal I can cook.. Chilli !!

As some of you might know, my inspiration to start blogging comes from the very top in terms of the Blogshere, English Mum, http://englishmum.com/ . I am sure this will make her spin in her pink Wellies, as 50% of her blog is all about scRRRRRRummy recipes and foody stuff and my attempt at a simple chilli will make her smile, but tough bollocks, I’m gonna give it a go !!

Also, it is worth noting that the best cook in the world, just ahead of Gordon Ramsay, is my gorgeous wife, Miska. She is not a huge fan of my chilli for two reasons. She is not a fan of my meat … oh er … She feels that I make my chilli too meaty, and it sits too heavy on her. Also, She gets a little fed up with the fact I can only make chilli for an army Squadron… and we end up eating the damn stuff for about 4 days on the trot !!!! I love the stuff, and I can eat it for days.. but she, understandably gets the hump !!!

So… this is what I do, laugh, mock and shame me into your better ideas … I know chilli is not rocket science or the hardest dish in the world, however, it’s bloody lovely !

Onions, chilli and Garlic ….. Chop them all, and add to light oil, and brown it all off…… I don’t make the onions too soft, but enough for them to be brown’d off and they soak up the Chilli and Garlic. Note the onions from the garden !!! I haven’t added huge amounts of Chilli, two reasons, I like to be able to taste my food, not have my ginger nuts blown off, and I am making this for Milan and Anka as well.

I then add the Meat, Beef. Again, browned off with the onions etc, and the chilli soaks into the meat…. I will sometimes add some Worcestershire sauce here, but not today.

Once the meat is browned, I just very simply chuck the rest of the stuff in. Tomatoes, Peppers… after these have been added I wash out the tins from the tomatoes (no, I don’t use them fresh !) and add some stock. I simply use some oxo gravy. I like my Chilli to taste of meat, so I happily add this to the mix. Let it all soak and cook for a long time, as long as I can be arsed to keep stirring it all. I would sometimes add some cheap red wine to the mix as well, and I always have a beer on the go as I cook !!!

Finally, I add in Kindney beans and lots of mushrooms… I always add these last as they can become a little mushy if they go in to early. Ready to serve, however, I still think it tastes best on the 2nd and third day !!!! Miska does not !!!

Ok, here we go trying to explain two new celebrations to me .. both wonderful ideas, and one everyone should embrace in my humble opinion …

Oct 30th has now become a special day for me, it’s my Names Day. I have been aware of this ever since I met Miska, but when we were in the USA she forgot the day really, being away from home it’s an easy thing to do, this year, I forgot it was my Names day, so at about 4pm, after my Slovak lesson, I was greeted by a smiling wife presenting me with small gifts… It’s not as important as a birthday, but everyone has a second ‘birthday’ here is Slovensko. What a great idea !!!! It’s just a day where every Simon in Slovakia and Simone gets celebrated. If you ever go to a put on Joesph’s or Michaela’s names day, you can guarantee the pub will be full of Joe’s and Michael’s !!!.. Go on the 26th Dec…. and ask for Stefan… you get a huge reply ! So, any excuse for me to have a few shots of Slivovica, some cokolada and some of Anka’s fine cakes .. Woo Hoo … everyone’s a winner with this one …. Go look when your Slovensko Name’s day, I’ll raise a glass for you !!!!

On a more serious note, the 1st Nov is a very important day and a family celebration on a different, but very important note. It’s all Saints Day. While America goes all out in celebration with their children of Halloween, which they did incredible well in Newport Beach and I am sure all over the US. The UK barely grasps the idea of Halloween, and really, it’s something as a child really just passed us by, we were far more interested in getting to celebrate the 5th Nov….. The Slovaks, and others I believe, take the 1st to celebrate and remember those that have passed away.

What a special, emotional, and wonderful thing to do. I have not done too well with deaths in my family and certain close friends. I lost all my grandparents before I was 18, I was 8 when my first Grandmother died, losing the others as I can barely remember and my eldest Grandfather passing as I turned 18. Today was a moment to celebrate their lives, remember them, and to think about a special friend I lost when I was only 23, he was 24 and taken so quickly for no reason. The biggest loss was obviously my wonderful Father. I won’t go into all of this now, but to lose your Dad when you are 19 is a huge part and influence in my life. I was so lucky to have a father who was a wonderful role model, who worked hard, and spent the rest of his time with Ma and the 4 of us. Sad, so sad to lose him, for him not to be around to see us all succeed, grow old and to celebrate the victories we have in life. Sad he has not got to meet Miska and to look on my travels and success. I won’t go into my beliefs, but, I am sure I will get to discuss this with him one day (he has got a lot of photos to catch up on !!!!) so, the whole family, children up to the eldest visit, tidy, clean the cemeteries and to place flowers and light candles in memory of those dear departed. The graves are beautiful, the candles burn and people meet and greet. We visited our 1st cemetery in the village, and spent time, lighting candles for Miska’s Grand and gt Grand parents. Very emotional, but in celebration. My Father is not buried in a cemetery, or Church graveyard. He is buried under a tree in a place where we spent so much time as children, a very happy place, and I often walk the dog there, spend a few mins just being there. Now I am far away, I lit my candle, stood for 2 mins and thought of the man I call Dad. Tears flowed for a few minutes, and my new family embraced and fell silent for a min. We then visited graves of brothers, Uncles, Aunts and I was learning my new roots and the history of the family. We ended up visiting 4 cemeteries and seeing 2 sets of family I have never met. As always, food aplenty, Domanca flowing and we got home very tired, but in celebration. As night fell, it was a beautiful full moon, the temperature dropped to well below freezing and Miska and I walked back to the cemetery one more time to see the candles flicker and ‘enjoy’ the silence and wonder the home of our departed family.

Remember when you were 3 years old … remember when you parents first started to teach you your a,b,c’s… now try to remember how you first said ‘a’ …. hard to show in a written blog, but a is pronounced by a 3 year old as ‘a’pple … got it ….

Well, I am 100% sure you won’t remember when you first spoke your native language, I certainly don’t. I was born speaking English, (not very well, and VERY badly written)  some of you readers were born speaking American, Australian, Irish and of course my Slovak readers.

I am also sure that some of my readers will be fluent in a second or even third language, I doff my cap to you !!!

I am learning Slovak. I have had my first two lessons, and I can tell you, it’s not an easy language to learn. (I am sure my Slovak friends will tell me that English was tough too) However, I feel there is no logic behind the language. I can understand how to pronounce certain letters, soft, long etc.. thats ok, I can cope with that, what I can’t cope with is the ‘male’ ‘female’ side of things …. ?? How am I supposed to know that a Dog is Male, and Spring is female … ?!?!? There is zero logic, and no way I can know this, I just have to learn it !!

Also, for us English speakers it is logical for the words “I am going to Bratislava today” to come in that order, in Slovak (and I am sure many other languages the direct translation is “I go today to Bratislava” .. kinda makes some sense, but alien to me !

I am starting to pick up on certain words in conversation, but it scares me how far I have to go. Milan and Anka are very patient with me, and Miska is a saint… however.. Miska cannot be my teacher. We just argue !! Strange, I cannot take criticism from her, and I argue over the logic of what she is trying to teach me !… terrible from me !… however, Miska forgets that in this sense (and in a few others) I am a child, and she tries to make me run, in fact do a marathon, before I can even toddle along. It will help me no-end to be here, and being forced to learn the language, everyone is supportive and my teacher, a 55 yr old from Levice has her work cut out I can tell you. For 8 Euro’s an hour… my god she is a saint to be trying to teach me.

I will give it my all, and I am sure it will click in the future, but for a stubborn, non academic Englishman, they could seriously be taking Greek to me !, in fact, I understand The Clangers better then these guys sometimes !… Question, when foreign speakers hear the English language, does it sound as though the speaker has just rubbed 2g’s of Speed into their gums ?????

So, it’s back to my best teacher, the fella I get on best with and the little man who never loses his patience with me, always smiles, is very happy to go back to “Jeden, Dva, Tre” time and time again, as long as he gets some Cokolada…..

Ok, As you all know, I no longer live in Sunny California, but have taken the plunge to move here to Slovakia. Most blogs hide behind anonyminity, I respect that, and of course, I would never reveal who my commenters are.. that is their choice. However, with links to Facebook here, It’s fairly obvious who I am, and having spoken to the former Mrs M, I have decided that no longer will the people in my blog be anonymous (again, others who appear in my blog from the blogsphere will ALWAYS remain anonymous , EM, DBM etc …)

Me… well, everyone pretty much knows me as Moon, so that won’t change. I was called it from 2 yrs old

Slovakian life currently is full of surprises, small things, like Slovaks don’t share a double or kingsize duvet, two individual ones ….. I can’t get Coke in a 330ml can !.. At the house we have ****ing Chickens and a bloody noisy Cockerel (who may well up in the soup very soon). Milan has a large garden, with wonderful Paprika, paridika, all sorts of fruits, wonderful Walnuts some of the most amazing pickles you could ever ask for… far better than Tom Goode ever had it ! Soon we will be getting pigs to fatten up for bacon etc (no, I will not be part of that, but thats the life, and I will certainly be eating the bacon)One thing you will never be short of is food, drink and love in Slovakia, puts us English to shame !

Milan (even though he never drinks) makes ‘interesting Wine (Vino) from the Sadovski’s own Vineyard, and Domanca that tastes of Deisel ! .. The Pivo is cold, and the kavu is strong … life is good !!!!

The mountains are a 2 hr drive, so snowboarding is back on for this winter, Hungary and Austria are a matter of a short 1 – 2 hr drive and Croatia beckons

So, here is the B E A Utiful Michaela… Mrs M, Miska or ‘Er indoors’ .. she hardly ever reads the blog, which is good….The most amazing wife a man could ask for !!

And here are the rest of the family …..

Evka and Julius…

Their two boys, Filip and Victor… superstars in my eyes !

Pa Slovak, or Milan …

And you have all met ‘The Vet’ before.. or Domi, and her fella Pavol ….

Finally, I will never be far without a hound.. he is the Barking Mad, Debo of a dog … Benny !

So, there are the people that have opened their hearts to me, welcomed me into this strange country, and given me the start of the hardest, but most wonderful adventure ever.

There will be tears, excitement, laughs, Domanca and many more laughs … I haven’t forgotten Canada, that will be my next few posts, but this is now my new life… hang on for the ride of my life !!

Ha, thought if I put the word “Porn” in the title I might get your interest !!

So, once I avoided any more cakes, no more soup please, refused further helpings of meat, got away from another glass of Diesel (Domanca, just ask English Mum what it tastes like) and managed to excuse myself from the ongoing Sunday chat that all families have ( I really am not that interested in the fact that Grannies neighbours Daughters friend has married outside the faith.. and to be fair, I don’t think Mrs M is too bothered to translate it all either) I managed to get to the sofa and I am allowed to search through the TV channels to see if I can find the Sunday arvo game from the Premiership…. shouldn’t be a worry….

Out of the 50 or so channels available to me, most are in Slovak, some Czech and some, like the Nat Geographic channel are in English. I am assured that one channel will show the footie, just need to flick through an find it.  Like any man, I am an expert with the TV remote, and I am so going through the channels.. nope, Slovak, Nope Boring, Nope Czech etc … nearing channel 31 my life and my future in Slovakia is in the balance. Not quite what you would expect on a Sunday afternoon trawl through the channels. I happen to turn onto a porn channel. I am not talking girls in bikinis with their tops off, I am talking top quality, top of the shelf hardcore pornoraphy !!! I am not prude, and neither is Mrs M. I, like with most of the male population (not together you understand, not really a male group sport that!) have seen a little of this kinda stuff… but, with Granny at 76, Mrs M’s Ma, Pa, Uncle and two nephews, one who is only 6 within 10 feet of me .. well, I think you can understand my feelings ..

Life stands still… in my head, the conversation stops, the TV has decided to turn itself onto full volume, all eye are not on me, the cake or Grannies shocking jumper, and of course, as is always the case… the TV remote batteries are DEAD !!!!!! … well that is how it feels …

I am sure my reactions were near perfect, quicker than Linford Christie hearing the B of the Bang… back to Nova Sport and Wigan are 1-1 with Man City …. not one person has realised that Daz are contacting me to pose next to the new whiter than white advert … and the conversation flows ….TFFT !

Never, EVER paly Russian Roulette with a sat system you don’t know…..

We have taken a couple of days off …. Off what you may ask, after all, we are both unemployed ! Well, we have left Ma and Pa Slovak behind and headed into the Tatra Mountains in the North of Slovakia. This is where Mrs M was born, and she has some close family friends who own a mountain cottage that is open for family. So here we are. I have been this way before, on one of my visits to Slovakia. The weather then was shocking, thick mist and fog, and steady rain. We made the best of our time, visited some wonderful caves, and some equally wonderful cake shops (Slovaks do cakes very, VERY well). We saw nothing of the famed, beautiful mountains… not too worry, they will be here next time. So, last week the weather at home was about 25 Deg C, I was in my Californian shorts and flip flops (Being moaned at my Ma Slovak “you catch your death in just those” (My translation)). So we decided to go and ‘see’ the mountains and spend some time alone up there. Cool by me….

However, the weather turned very wet and cold over the week-end, so we swapped the tyres to Snow Tyres (see DBM, we did it immediately !) and headed off. The wind blew and blew, and as we arrived, snow started to fall. Not that we were too bothered, we had some beer, some nice wine, and a cosy cottage to snuggle down in. In the morning, and after a decent night sleep (finally… another long story !) we woke to find heavy snow outside. About 4 inches, certainly enough to stop London in its tracks for a few days. We wrapped up warm and headed out, but it soon became clear that seeing the mountains was not a great idea. The snow was falling heavier, and the viewing distance was only about 50ft, Not great for trying to see the wonderful mountains !! So, yet again I was scupperd in my attempts to see one of the things Slovakia is famous for….. We stopped off in a local town, found my favourite cake shop and indulged in cakes and coffee… perfect.

Once home, we got changed and set off for another thing Slovakia is very famous for… Hot, natural Spa’s !! As you can imagine, the temp had fallen to just below freezing, so in my shorts (not the budgie smugglers the Germans seem to love) and walked as calmly as a man should and dipped into the beautiful hot Spas. There is something very refreshing of 40 Deg C water with snow falling on your face. I loved it, and after 2 hrs of this we decided to head back, open a bottle of wine, cook a nice roast dinner (well, Mrs M cooked, I open the wine and wrote this !!) and got myself mentally prepared for what will be a very important night.

You all know my love of sports, and it hasn’t taken me anytime to realize the importance of the game tonight. Poland v Slovakia. If Slovakia win this one, they will be on their way to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Big deal to an Englishman, fair point… however, again, one of my mottos in life, and certainly in my travels is “When in Rome, Do as the Romans”.. this means that when I am in a certain country, I behave and become one of them, this applies 200% for Slovakia. So, I am desperate for a Slovak win tonight. Also, with Slovakia playing in the World Cup, it means that they will show all the games here, including England …. So, it works out best for all if they win tonight.

So, for now, Mrs M is reading her book, soaking in the bath, I am tapping away, getting up to date with others on Facebook, Hotmail, Skype and Blogs and cracking open a bottle of finest Slovak beer (Kelt), Luchann is fast asleep, and a happy bliss has settled over this Slovak household.

So, here I am …. Starting a new, scary life in a new country. I am sure you all know, Mrs M is a proud Slovak, and after we departed the USA in less than ideal circumstances, it has propelled us into the next chapter of our lives. We have moved lock, stock and barrel to Slovakia. All very scary, and so far, I have been overwhelmed by the change and the friendliness of my new family and friends. We have bought a plot of land, and we intend, once we have found work, to build our own home and live the life of Slovaks.

So far, it has all gone ok. Ma and Pa Slovak have been wonderful. They are so happy to have their Daughter back home, and as far as I can understand, they seem to be pretty happy to have me here as well. We will be staying with them until we get sorted and have built our home. This means a stay of at least 18 months !, so we will see how the relationship lasts….. They cannot seem to do enough for us, and the one thing Slovaks do very well is hospitality. I cannot sit down for more than 1 minute without being offered food glorious food. The first piece of Slovak anyone should learn is “No Thank You”, otherwise you will be a fat as the house we want to build.

We have a separate part of the house to live in, so very important as we obviously need our own space, and this gives me the chance to have time when I don’t have to try to understand, and Mrs M can relax from her translating duties. Ma and Pa Slovak do not speak and English and my Slovak is very limited. I am lucky that we have Him and Her from ‘Upstairs’ (friends of Mrs M I got to know very well when she lived in Highgate, London). They both speak good English and it means we have friends that we can go and share a beer with, and not struggle with the language. Well, me, Mrs M and Him can have a beer, Her is 6 months pregnant, so she is the driver !!! Also, if you remember from my USA Blogs, we have The Vet here, and with her boyfriend, Dave, I have two more friends that I can talk with, and relax with.

It’s going to be a very tough time, and I know that you cannot make any decision about a new life until you have given it a fair go. I think this will be at least 2 years. To start with, the pressure of not knowing the language will be a real struggle for us. Mrs M will get very tired translating all the time, and also having to do all the organizing. I will be enrolling into Scholl as soon as I can, and living here means it should be easier to pick up the lingo … I hope.

Small things will hit us as well. I can’t buy diet Coke in cans here…. Small thing I know, but…. The food is wonderful, but again, it’s the little things, no cornflakes !bottled water only comes in large bottles, so it goes flat too quickly for me.

Levice, the closest city is not an attractive place at all, very 1970 Communist city, tower blocks from the 70’s, very grey.. not really the picturesque city I want to live in… however, the village where we have our plot of land is a lovely old village, traditional Slovak village, and with Budapest, Bratislava, Vienna, Prague and the High Tetras Mountains all within 1-3 hrs drive, I think my desire to travel will be satisfied for a while yet. We also have some further afield ideas for travel, including Croatia, Ukraine, Russia and Italy. Apart from Rome, I have seen too much of this side of Europe, and now we are used to long drives, the world is indeed our oyster.

I have lots to catch up on with my blog, stories from Canada, a week being a tourist in my own country, and of course, all the new things that are Slovak.. I have some magnificent pictures from Canada to post, and in time, I will go back and complete all of that. For now, until we get the internet sorted here, I am very limited, and being a blog and Facebook Whore, I am missing the everyday ‘contact’ the internet gives me.

Tonight is an important night for Slovakia. They are playing a world cup qualifier, and if all goes to plan, they can qualify for the World Cup in 2010 in South Africa. This is very important for me as well, it means I will have two teams to support there, and it should mean the World Cup is given maximum coverage here in my new adopted country !

We have landed !!!!

And I will be posting all from the land of Slovensko very soon ……

I need to find an Internet provider and I will be back posting soon ..

They do speak funny though !!!!

Bugger …. I had made a decision to be posting again as per normal, but life has got in the way again …..

With Mrs M finally back with me, we have been catching up (ahem…) and spending time as a tourist in my own country. It’s a marvellous thing, and nothing to be embarressed about…

We have spent the last few days with a short break in The Cotswolds, seeing Stow, Bourton, The Slaughters and numerous English Country villages, and the last 2 days seeing old friends, and walking (very important to walk) around my city, around London. It has been marvelous, and the short trip around England continues with a two trip to see my Brother in Leicestershire. Miska has never been to his old farmhouse, and to see him, his wife and the 4 dogs, 3 horses will be a good trip. We will drive slowly via The Battle of Bosworth to a beautiful Hamlet I know, and have traditional Cream Tea for lunch !!… Onto Timbers for a day of seeing the horses, the manor house who’s grounds he lives on, and I am sure to finish off with a cigar and a glass of port with them both.

We then come home, and start to pack for our flight early on Tuesday morning to our new adventure in Slovakia. (More of that to come)

So, I have  a huge amount of blogging to catch up on. I now have my laptop back, and with that comes access to our photos. I will hop abaout a bit with mu blogs, but I need to tell you all about our trip to Canada and our experinces of a breath taking 2 wekk trip to Vancouver Island, Brittish Columbia and Alaska …. so, don’t give up on me readers….. I’m still here !